An Illustration of God's Designs…

Posts tagged ‘get your life’

A Friend is Like A Good Bra!

Finally In the most empathic way I asked myself the question What have I done to deserve a life with such continuing struggle?  I believe that we are created to be relational to all things created by God. However, there is a need to be free from the external and internal influences clouding out true desires that drives us to become islands, we truly crave to be seen, known, understood and valued to have someone to kiss our faces, hold us close, makes us  feel cared for and in a word “LOVED”.


Relationships are sacred because they provide life’s grandest opportunity. It is the only opportunity to create and produce the experience of your highest conceptualization of “Self.” Relationships fail when you see them as life’s grandest opportunity to create and produce the experience of your highest conceptualization of another…. No one can produce the real You but YOU!

Remember, Experience produces concept of self, conception produces creation, and creation produces experience. Life is an interesting exercise in defining what is “fun”.

I used this phrase because it made sense to me that Friends are like a Good Bra, one I wear bras and it is always good to wear a good supportive one at that, you don’t need everything hanging out for everyone to see…and it must be close to my heart, supportive, comfortable and lifts me up when everything is hanging low and most of all it makes me look better!

If you  want to make the most of love,you need to do your homework… This week just look at one occasion in any relationship, whether it’s with your Spouse, a Colleague, a friend or family member, when you Notice yourself getting angry or feeling unliked, misunderstood, unwanted or judged…Shift your perception by focusing on these three steps

1. Focus on something positive outside of the situation in the environment.

2. Find one or two redeeming quality about that person or situation

3. Instead of assuming something is going to be negative, say to yourself, “i’m going to whatever I can in this situation to ensure a positive outcome.”

Most of All Make the Most of Life’s grandest opportunities…Rev.Sakinah O’Kane- Smith

How To Detect Your Christian Friend is Your #1 Hater

Haters are going to hate. A haters primary function is to cast doubt and negativity upon you. These individuals can be identified in your inner circle, family member or a perfect stranger. Every successful step you take in life, those without an elite mentality will degrade your accomplishment. For example, getting a college degree, getting married or successful business. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but at the end of the day. If you allow yourself to absorb their mess for a split second then it will derail you of your progress. It has been mine and other people’s experience that these are some of the ways to detect the haters in your life.


1. Critique your every move and say ” If I was You”

2. Secretly comparing yours spiritual gifts and anointing with his/hers trying to impress others in your inner circle.

3. Gossips behind your back telling all your secrets to others ( even influence others to hate you)

4. Can’t celebrate your accomplishments Haters are unable to really express congratulate

5. They want to be like you!- Most haters are mad at themselves they hate the fact that someone other than them are doing the thing that makes them happy.

6. Suggest you put yourself in uncompromising positions so that you fall into sin just to please others

7. Bring other people’s hateful comments/opinions about you to your attention

8. Lie and say they support your ministry– always making up all kinds of excuses of why they didn’t attend your ministry events. The truth is they can’t stand to see you win.


10. Using their anger towards you as an excuse and reason why they told all your confidential information to other people.

11. Secretly Waiting for Demise- Haters always want to know your progress in life just to make sure you are still suffering ( ex. they ask detailed questions)

12. Won’t Give an Appropriate Compliment-  this is one of the hardest things for haters to do …Instead they will say ” You Think you Cute or Something”

13. Body Language signs of sadness when you succeed- Their behavior and body language shows that they don’t like what is going on

14. Haters will display content when they find you unhappy– they become more energetic or even smile. sometimes they even fabricate and define your unhappiness as God’s Judgment to your disobedience to him.

15. Haters, Hate on your Facebook Posts- A hater won’t like or respond to anything that you post even if it appealed to him/her.

17. Will try to discourage or warn you when you attempt to achieve a God Size Assignment Some haters will try to act like a friend who cares for you. However, those are the ones who will usually try to warn you when you attempt to succeed in life, ministry etc or do something that they didn’t manage to do.

You must understand that in order to detect a hater you need to find all of these signs and in addition you need to make sure that this person(s) is repeating them. In life whether you like it or not you will come across mean people in your life and that’s why learning  how to deal with them is one essential life skill that you must acquire.


How to Deal with Your Haters

1. Don’t Let your Emotions take Control–  Always maintain your composure and live a life of integrity. Jay Z once said ” A wise man told them don’t argue with fools, because people from a distance can’t tell who is who.”

2. Focus on People Who Cares Don’t try to make your haters your fan, don’t waste time trying to change them, learn from them. They are the radar and detector of what you are doing right. Literally let your haters become your motivators

3. What’s More important than being able to identify these sources of negative energy is your ability to never show weakness to them.

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